When it comes to knocking boots, it should come as no surprise that men and women are often thinking very different things. This is especially true when it comes to casual intimacy. Read about the different perspectives men and women hold about this type of encounter and how to preserve male organ health through it all.
The one-night encounter
In this classic scenario, boy meets girl, boy invites girl home, boy gets busy with girl, girl goes home, boy and girl never talk to each other again. A true one-night encounter happens between two parties that do not know each other and have no means to – or intentions of – getting in touch with each other after the deed is done.
His View: A one-night encounter to a guy is just another opportunity for fun, and what guy in his right mind would turn down a no-strings attached night in the sack? Very few. In fact, a study out of UCLA found men are more likely to regret not having meaningless encounters than woman are. Scientists blame evolution for this trait, theorizing that a missed opportunity is a missed chance at procreation, an evolutionary no-no.
Her View: A one-night encounter may be fun at the time, but it is something that sticks with her. She is likely to later struggle with feelings of being easy, cheap, or fast. The same UCLA study found women are more likely to have regret over the encounter. Again, from an evolutionary perspective, the consequences of mating required much more of an investment for the woman (i.e. pregnancy and child rearing), so she’d better choose the right guy to father her (hypothetical) children.
Friends with benefits
Casually known as FWB, this type of relationship exists between two people who are friends and are also having relations, though they both claim to not want a relationship. The situation may be temporary – until one of them gets a boyfriend or girlfriend – or it may be long-term.
His view: Why not have his cake and eat it too? This situation is a win-win, as he gets to hang out with the cool girl, get it on with her, and avoid all the lame relationship stuff like proper dates and expensive jewelry.
Her view: While the relationship may start out purely physical, women are significantly more likely to develop feelings for their FWB than guys. Ultimately, it is a risky venture, as she may end up liking a dude who has no interest in ever being more than friends…with the aforementioned benefits, of course.
The booty call
The booty call tends to be a step below the FWB relationship in terms of frequency of hangout and quality of hangout. The engaging parties may be friends, casual acquaintances, or maybe even a one-night encounter turned bed buddies. They probably don’t do anything together outside the bedroom, and likely don’t engage in post-intimacy sleepovers. Both people know what the point of the relationship is, and it stands at that.
His view: It’s nice to have a consistent girl to have great relations with – or even not so great – without having to put in all the work. He doesn’t have to go to the effort of picking up a girl at a bar (like the one-night encounter) and doesn’t have to deal with the potential awkwardness of seeing his FWB out and about when he is with another girl.
Her view: If both people have been clear from the very beginning, her view should be similar to his. Unfortunately, sometimes the terms aren’t spelled out very well, and she thinks he simply doesn’t want a relationship right now. This may lead her to believe they have a future as a couple and can lead to major jealousy if she sees him with another girl. When she starts to realize she is a booty call, she may feel used and betrayed.
Protecting the male organ during casual intimacy
Whatever a guy’s game plan is in terms of getting some, he needs to play it safe. Using protection every time, especially when with a new partner, is the best way to avoid partner transmitted infections. Additionally, he should be regularly tested for infections and seek medical attention if he suspects he has been exposed or experiences painful or out of the ordinary symptoms. Finally, using a daily male organ health cream (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) can keep the male organ free from chafing, irritation and other unpleasant consequences of frequent relations, meaning it is as smooth and ready for action as he is.