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How Not To Pressure Your Depressed Loved One

People are finding real hard when dealing with torment of stress, depression or anxiety. Situation may even go harder to help their loved one to get rid of this suffering episode.

For someone who had ever been to this traumatic event, you would know surrounding people are actually hard to connect with us or understand us. As a result, sufferer may feel isolated and the torment can be exacerbated due to loneliness and helplessness.

If you care about someone who’s under stress, depression or anxiety, here are some suggestions for what you can or can’t do to reach your loved one.

Human are unique, so do the pain
When people try to comfort their depressed loved one, they always say that: “My dear, cheer up! Forget about the sad things and tune your modes of thinking to the right way and everything will be alright!” or “Be optimistic!”

Although stress, depression and anxiety are generally caused by flawed modes of thinking, but they are many other symptoms involved. Sufferers may undergo physical effect such as severe headache, back pain, hypertension, loss of sex drive, muscle pain and much much more. Besides, there are many other effects or symptoms and it’s important to understand that no sufferer experience the same symptoms.

So, sufferer may always needs a logical and physical solution for them to get rid of their particular problem once and for all. Rather than being convince by the kind of simplified overall solution.

Don’t belittle or compare their situation
Another common reaction will be given: “What are you so worry about? There are lots of people in this world having the situation much worse than you do having now but they live with happiness”. Yet this is another misleading statement.

In fact, millions of people around the world living in squalor and poverty are not sufferers, but majority of them are not satisfied with what they currently have and maybe they had been through the terrible time.

It is not wrong for convincing a distressed sufferer but don’t expect this is effective as they just care about themselves when they are down. This is the symptoms of stress, depression and anxiety. They are struggling hard to solve their own problem and seeking for help, it’s entirely useless to point out others which may have it worse and may not help any way.

Never ever to be frustrated
Frustration is the most common emotion to happen when people are not able to understand what their loved one is going through. And it can soon give way to anger and annoyance as the people running out of patience.

People may complaint: “Why are you being so pessimistic? Everything is going well but you only think of the negative side. Everyone is worried about you but you just let it be. Please do something so that we won’t be disappointed!”

People might think that they are just helping them to meditate themselves or regain their self-esteem. But the outcome is more likely to let the sufferer resent you and disappointed for your misunderstood. Sufferer probably will start avoiding you and their torment is deepened.

So, don’t ever throw tamper in front of the sufferer and give them space.

Positive Reminder
Self-deprecation is common symptom of ones suffering stress, depression and anxiety. Sufferers have no self-confident where they will put themselves down at every opportunity, no matter when they’re alone or accompany by other people.

Sufferers may probably say: “No, you go ahead. I won’t bother because I’ll just get it wrong like everything else I do.” When you hear this, avoid the urge to challenge it or reprimand. Instead, gently and subtly remind them of a time when something went well.

Just say “Hey, do you remember that time when you…” Challenging or reprimanding will only arouse resentment and they’ll just think you’re against them. This is a very subtle way of reminding the sufferer of a more positive event.

It is not easy to help your loved one to solve their emotional illness. We are advisable to provide them more space and secure them with your love.

Kam Meng, Mok & Keng Yong, Ong study & writes about self-development.
Get a free copy of “Stress No More” from, to learn more about his work, visit