There are a lot of rules that apply to dating and many of them have to do with kissing or having sex after a first date. You may find that none of these rules sit perfectly well with you and that is when you have to improvise and create your own rules. Most people cannot simply live by some arbitrary rule book; instead they have to feel out each situation for themselves.
The first thing you have to do is think about how you feel about casual sex. Kissing is one thing, you can decide at the end of each date whether or not you are comfortable kissing someone. Sex is altogether another issue because it involves a certain about of risk and also involves a certain amount of trust. After a first date you also know relatively little about a person and this may be your only and last interaction with the person, would be you comfortable with that?
Kissing is something that you have to decide for yourself if you are comfortable doing after a first date. Many people have a strict rule against it and they figure that you have to move more slowly if you are looking for something more meaningful. A lot of people use the no kissing on a first date rule of their own as a gauge about the person that they are dating. A lot of people believe that if a person still calls back and wants to go out after no kiss or intimacy after the first date that they may be more worthwhile than someone who doesn’t want to call back after not having any intimacy.
How you go about intimacy after a first date is completely up to you. Many people have a rule that there is no kissing after the first date, just a kiss after the second date, and then they move on from there. You just have to consider what you are comfortable with, consider each situation, and go from there. What may be comfortable for you in one situation may not be right for you in another, so just feel it out, forget all of the rules, and just do what works for you. When you know how you feel about casual sex and kissing someone that you may never see again, this will guide your decisions.
Intimacy after a first date is a lot less rigid than it used to be. Our society as a whole has become a lot more accepting of more casual intimacy. Regardless, you need to be certain about what you are comfortable with and go from there. Each person has their own comfort level and you need to find yours.
Rodrigo Rehn is a Relationships Expert, Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance online dating for singles.