Do you have the people skill needed to handle difficult people? Best selling author, Peter Urs Bender has come up with four basic personality types. Based on the fact that you really can’t understand someone who’s being difficult, until you can see the world through his or her eyes, here are the four basic types:
1. The Analytical person:
Give this person details, statistics and a stack of ‘how-to’ books. This person wants exact numbers and answers. Usually introverted; in a problem situation don’t try and plead an emotional case – stick to the facts and provide plenty of data to back it up!
2. The Driver:
‘My way or the highway’ might be this person’s motto. They want to know what saves time and the fastest way to get results. Not overly emotional, this personality type is extraverted. Greatest fear? Losing control.
3. The Amiable person:
The question they want answered is ‘why?’ This person doesn’t like disagreements. An emotional type, the amiable person will give others support and attention. They enjoy building relationships and values the opinions of others. In a conflict situation the amiable person needs reassurance – and lots of it.
4. The Expressive:
The question they are likely to want answered is ‘who?’ A pat on the back is a good thing to this person and they love social events. Another extravert, this type fears being rejected. The expressive shows emotion easily and readily and loves to inspire others.
So to use your people skill to work with different personalities, you don’t necessarily want to use the golden rule. You want to do to others what THEY would like done to them. The only way to really know what that would entail is to really listen to that person.
It may take some time to establish the personality trait that seems to fit the person you are dealing with the most. Nevertheless, it will be time well spent.
Probably the hardest part comes next. You will want to adopt their ways. Let’s say you are the Amiable type and want to develop your people skills with a certain Driver individual. If you’ve taken the time to really understand that the driver needs to feel that he or she is getting the problem resolved their way, you’ll have a better chance at reaching an agreement.
Keep in mind that this isn’t a ‘let people walk all over me’ people skill set. This is more about a shift in our own personality patterns towards someone else’s.
Peter Urs Bender wants us to remember that there are no difficult people, only different ones. He goes on to guarantee that his approach, albeit needing enough courage to change, always pays off.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: how to communicate