A first date is make or break time and the things you do and say on a first date will determine whether you are invited on a second or third date. Find out how to make the best impression.
First date questions.
A common fear for people new to the dating scene or those returning after a while is, “what if I dry up and don’t have anything to say on my first date?” It’s worthwhile preparing ahead of the date to keep the conversation flowing. Firstly, think about conversation icebreakers. Don’t be afraid of starting off with obvious questions such as:
“How was your journey here?” “How has your day been?”
Move on to more interesting conversation and if you have met or spoken to the person before, pick up a previous topic. Follow the golden conversational rule of using open questions beginning with, how, what, when and why. Avoid closed questions, which elicit “no’s” and “yes’s”, these usually start with, “do”, and “is/are”
People usually love to talk about themselves so ask questions that allow them to do this such as:
“What do you enjoy doing outside of work?”, “What’s most important to you in your life?” “Where do you like to go on holiday?”
In a dating conversation men will tend to speak more than women. This is because women are generally better listeners. As a woman to make it a perfect first date, make sure that you get your points across and don’t be afraid of interrupting to do so. Guys – step back and remember to let your date do some talking.
First date outfit.
Women are generally impressed by men who have taken some effort over their appearance. Pay attention to the basics such as shaving, ironing your shirt and smelling nice without drowning yourself in aftershave. Don’t wear the clothes that you like to wear around the house, if this means old, worn and tatty – make an effort and wear something smart and match trousers, shirts and shoes. Women have a keen eye for shoes so make sure yours are polished!
For women the same rules apply in terms of making an effort with your first date outfit. However, understatement can be far more appealing than overplaying it with a killer sexy outfit. Plunging necklines have become commonplace but you may want your date to make eye contact rather than have their eyes glued to your cleavage all night.
General rules for a perfect first date include looking smart and presentable but keeping your more daring and sexy outfits to potential later dates when you have got to know each other better.
What not to do on a first date.
Don’t be late. Being more than 5 or 10 minutes late without a genuine excuse shows that you can’t be bothered to make that much of an effort and a lack of commitment. It is acceptable for women to arrive slightly later than men but never abuse this unwritten rule.
Avoid mention of “ex’s” and if the other person asks keep your answer brief. There is plenty of time for this subject, if you continue seeing each other. Also keep conversation relatively light and avoid politics and religion.
Don’t spend too long talking about your children, pets or work, talking endlessly about any of these can give the impression that you don’t have the space in your life for a signifcant other.
Don’t be pretentious on your first date, being your own self is much more appealing and attractive.
Don’t have sex on a first date unless you are just looking for a one-night stand. If you sleep with someone on a first date, the chances are that you will have a far from perfect first date and won’t ever make it to a second date.
Don’t lie about how you feel at the end of a first date. There is nothing worse than leading someone along and saying you will call them or would like to see them again when this is clearly the last thing you want to do. It is much more respectful to say you have had a good time but are not interested in taking things any further.
Candy Jannetta is a happily married UK based Relationship Coach and author who has helped hundreds of single men and women to find true love. Want help in meeting your perfect match? Sign up for a FREE 7-day e-course on how to meet that special someone at http://www.howtomeetyourperfectmatch.com