Remember back when you were in high school or college and you had your eye on the single girl or guy of your dreams? Remember how long you were in each others presence with friends or how many times you talked in the hall or lunch room before you had the nerve to ask each other out? You were getting to know each other, sizing each other up and searching to find the right guy or girl. There is a kind of unspoken communication going on, you learn that you really like their smile, their way of treating others around them. You learn that you are physically attracted to them, something we cannot ever deny as important to our long term happiness with someone. We learn that this is a person that would hold your fascination for a long while.
We have to realize that this is an important step to meeting someone that becomes a life mate or lover. Online dating delays this stage of meeting someone and sizing them up to determine how well they fit into our lives. Some call this chemistry, some call it mutual attraction. No matter what you call it, you have to experience it before eventually. Online dating does take the physical attraction out of the equation until a later time so in theory it should allow you to choose potential future partners based on emotional and practical needs and matches vs. choosing someone based solely on their physical appearance. Truth be known, we get to the physical appearance part eventually.
Online dating sites are like search engines. You can find potential dates but you have to meet them to determine the actual fit. Start by searching dating sites for people in your own community and then search within those results for people who describe themselves to be your perfect match. Of course nothing is ever perfect; you have to find out if what the person writes about themselves is even true.
You may be attracted to people who put a lot of effort into their physical body. You like those buff body building types. When someone says they pay close attention to physical fitness it doesn’t mean they are buff. You still need to determine that you both have the same definition of physical fitness.
As you get into dating online you will even see where you have lead others astray with the wording you have in your own personal profile or ad. Correct these things as soon as you realize them. You will be doing yourself and others a favor by representing yourself to the best of your knowledge.
Men and women have moved their search for love to the internet simply because it is the most convenient in terms of time and money. The real pleasures come after you meet and start a traditional relationship.
Be wary of people who really like the idea of online dating but are not really interested in real life meetings. Yes you need to take some time to get to know each other but you should be able to meet fairly soon after making the online connection. Someone who says to you that they do not meet others in real life without talking for months online first is probably someone that does not want to have a real relationship.
Use your intuition and senses to your advantage. In a real life meeting your “red flag system” would be working on high alert. The moment something is said that just doesn’t appeal to you or your sensibilities you will have a red flag flying. You will make instant decisions to either be cautious with this person or to move on. The same sort of instincts will help you navigate online dating as well.
If you’re uncomfortable communicating with another member, move on. The saying “better safe then sorry” has never been more poignant then with online dating. A simple search in the engines will bring up enough stories for you to get the picture that meeting strangers through online dating can be dangerous. Be smart about your choices. In the world of online dating be as safe as possible but above all, have fun!
One of the big advantages of dating online is that you can block other members. On your online dating profile, describe what’s truly important to you. What gets you up in the morning? What truly motivates you in life?
Online dating has been and is still being used for vile purposes, so you must exercise caution in your internet dating.
Susanna has tried and won at online dating.
She has written about
accessing online dating sites for free.