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Yoga as Self Transformation


Shubhraji asked these questions one day:
What is the primary action you are doing in your life? What do you expect to gain from it?

I suppose the primary action that I am doing in my life is Yoga. I think the word expectation is a tricky one. I try not to have expectations in my life anymore because I have learned in lessons of love that expectations lead to disappointment. But I now must look outside the “love box”.

Ok. I have been sitting here a while thinking and talking to myself a wee bit. I haven’t really allowed myself expectations. It’s not that I am an underachiever or unmotivated. Maybe I don’t set the bar very high for myself. No, that’s definitely not it. If I were to just answer the question, “What do you expect to get from it?” I would have to say, health, well-being, goodness, enlightenment and samadhi, God-consciousness. Need I say more? But to me, it seems rather harsh to say I expect to gain this through my yoga practice. Although wouldn’t it be nice if it were that easy? But it should be this easy, shouldn’t it? Should. Would. Could. Words to get tangled in. It IS!

Let me stay on track. Vedanta, says that it is that easy. We have simply forgotten our own true nature. The cognitive mind is unable to comprehend, to fathom the vastness of this scope (less-ness) of Primordial Self, of the little ego-based self as being the BIG SELF, our Divine Self. We are already perfect but we have forgotten this. We can’t remember. Why? This violent word screams! Why can’t we remember? Why can’t I remember my Divine Self? Why is Divinity hiding itself from me?

My 4 year old self wants to scream, “Why Divine Self are you hiding from me? Why can’t I remember? Come out and play with me!” I can see the violence of my own expectations when I expect something from something. My mind circles. As it circles back around, I can see that when I am in this thought process, I have separated myself, from that which I truly am. It is this trap of my mind that separates itself from my Divine Self. When I realize, I AM, that is all I need to remember. I am That which I seek. I am not the seer and the seen. I am BOTH. It is this unity I must remember and Yoga is union! I practice Yoga to remember this union. Simple as that!

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