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12 Steps to Overcoming Shyness With the Opposite Sex

Getting rid of your shyness may seem impossible but with a little effort and the desire to be more outgoing with the opposite sex then you can definitely overcome shyness. It is important to know that the fears you feel when shyness hits you is typically always much worse than the reality of the situation.

1. Fake it until you make it! This is an infamous saying in the sales world. In other words; mimic or act like someone whom you admire and is not. It is a great way to start teaching yourself new behavioral habits.

2. Ask yourself why you are shy. Be honest with yourself. What are your real fears? What do you think people see when they talk with you? Answering these questions will help guide you into separating reality with what you are mistakenly perceiving it to be.

3. Work on building your self confidence. Yes, this will take effort on your part by reading books on the subject or listening to motivational tapes, but it works!

4. Learn how to use daily affirmations and positive mind influence. Again, this takes work but the power to change your shyness to confidence can come simply from saying things to yourself every day like “I like myself!” or “I am a winner!”

5. This may sound silly but take time out alone to roleplay situations that you get really nervous about. Pretend that you are talking to that guy or girl that makes you shy. Be that outgoing person that you wish to be. This roleplaying will send messages to your sub-consciousness and help your inner-self change.

6. Dress to impress even if nobody is looking. Iron those clothes! Keep that hair neat! In other words, always look your best. This does amazing things to help you feel better about yourself and overcome shyness.

7. Start projects in life that make you feel good. Start a personal project, totally clean up your house clutter and your car. Work on a new hobby. How can these things help you with overcoming shyness? Simple by working on things that make you feel good produces a natural aphrodisiac that turns you on and which indirectly turns on people around you.

8. Reprogram your mental definition of shyness. This goes along the same lines as using daily affirmations or by reading self help books. By changing your perception of shyness instead of having a negative attachment to the word, you will then help re-create your outlook on it.

9. Learn to take risks. How many times did you just want to go up to someone and tell them how beautiful they were, or how impressed they were. As a daily exercise do this: Each day of the week go up to a total stranger and say something nice. It could be something as innocent as complimenting a pretty girl on her hair or a guy with his shirt. Do not worry about the outcome, do not worry about what they say, just do it!

10. Combat your fears of rejections by realizing that everyone gets rejected at one point or another, everyone! Learn not to take rejection personally. Use it as a tool.

11. Be honest and up front!… tell people that you are shy up front, be honest with them. You will not believe just how nervous and shy the other person is as well.

12. Last but certainly not least… pray to God. Share your shyness with God and ask as him for the strength and courage to overcome it.

John and Leanne Morris are dating and relationship coaches. For more dating tips and advice check out: