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Is It Okay for Grown Men to Cry?

At first hearing this most men would say no – “I would never cry – real men don’t cry!” We are being programmed into believing that crying is for the weak. All the latest shows imply this. Just look at the soap operas and American Idol – the women are always crying like Paula Abdul, but what about their men? Hollywood has found that tough men sell – just look at 50 cent and his new, murderous video game. The real question is is there a time or a circumstance when crying by a man would be acceptable or even expected? This actually isn’t just recent. It is also biblical and the greatest man in history even cried and no he’s not 50 cent.

In the bible it talks about weeping of men in almost every book. In Jeremiah 48:14 it says “How say ye, We are mighty and strong men for the war? … 32 O vine of Sibmah, I will weep for thee with the weeping of Jazer.” In revelations it is stated in the depiction of hell – “there will be weeping and nashing of teeth.” There are numerous references of women weeping and crying in the bible, but there are also references of men crying and they are usually attributed to a great loss – Darius and the deathly sick child, numerous wars and struggles, even surrounding the crucifiction of Jesus. But nowhere does it state that it is wrong for men to weep or cry.

In Luke chapter 19:41-42 it states that Christ weeped over Jerusalem. Here is an instance where Christ felt sorrow for the people in Jerusalem and he actually cried for them. Regardless of what requirements we place on manhood today – Jesus Christ was the ultimate man – he was ridiculed and rejected by his pears from early on, had no affinity for worldly goods (even though satan tried many times), was threatened, beaten, spit on, even crucified and he never rescinded. What man today could bare 1/100th of what Jesus bore for all man kind?

If it was okay for Jesus to weep and not just in times of grieving then it must be okay for the rest of mankind to weep or cry. We have seen men cry on September 11, 2001 when the World Trade centers were brought down by terrorists. We have seen men cry in movies like Sixth Sense and on TV shows like Dr. Phil and Oprah. But we do not see them do this in everyday real life. This is because we are programmed to think we will be seen as weak, inferior, etc… Just look at the recent Playstation games our moldable youth are playing – 50 Cent goes on a wild killing spree, Simon puts everyone down including Paula Abdul with zero sympathy on American Idol, and in the Dukes of Hazard laws are broken with reckless abandon and its all okay as Daisy (Jessica Simpson) shows some cleavage and her legs and smiles. It’s all over the internet on Yahoo and Google – we are more interested in 50 cent (44 million Google searches) than Jesus Christ (33 million Google searches).

There is something really wrong here. We need to change this as there are times when it is okay for men to cry and they should not be seen as weaker, but as compassionate, faithful, caring, and sorrowful, or in some cases even joyful (one can be happy enough to cry and this is also mentioned in the bible like Joseph’s father upon the return of his son). If Jesus Christ, undoubtedly the greatest man to walk the earth (regardless of your religion and faith) can cry and show compassion then grown men can too. Maybe this is why women live longer.

David Maillie is an alumni of Cornell University and specializes in biochemical synthesis for public, private, and governmental interests. He can be reached at M.D. Wholesale: and