First off – what’s the difference between pacing, matching and mirroring?
Pacing is talking about or doing things that are verifiably true in the person’s ongoing experience. Pacing is the global action – the totality and it encompasses matching, mirroring, rhythm, speed, and/ or tonality… etc.
Mirroring is simply – if I move my right hand, you’re going to move your left hand. If I scratch with my left arm, you scratch with your right arm.
Matching is: If I raise my left hand, you raise your left hand. You match the movements with your same hand. Mirroring and matching are a subset of pacing. Pacing is a meta level above, so to speak.
What are the actions that are the best to pace?
Breathing! This is one of the most powerful things to pace and it’s very easy to do, especially if you are talking to someone. The small complication is that while you are talking you have to get the rhythm of all this down. You’re talking, I’m paying attention to your talking, I’m talking, and now I’m going to try to pace your breathing too. That’s quite a bit to add because talking is so unconscious.
You have to get comfortable with this and with some practice and experience – you can! Here’s a little trick for you. If I’m talking am I breathing in or out? If I’m talking, I’m breathing out!
So right now take your hand and put it out in front of you, like good trance subjects… very good! As you read this imagine that, “I’m talking and I want you to lower your hand slightly, just lower it a bit, good now I take a breath… ( and up comes your hand) and I start to talk again and your hand begins to move down again just as I speak.” So find someone and as they talk, follow along with your hands – you can use the TV or radio for this as well. Just practice this – you will discover that when someone stops talking, mostly they are getting a breath.
It’s not that hard. Really, getting to understand someone’s breathing is not all that hard. It is one of the most profound things to pace.
We can also pace facial expressions. This is a really big thing to be able to pace. If they’re smiling and your smiling, guess what? You’re both smiling. Whatever it is they’re doing facially, you’re going to do it as well. Most people are not very aware of their facial expressions. So that is something that I’ve found very useful to pace.
We’re training the unconscious mind. We’re training it to be able to see what the other person is doing and to be able to lock onto that very quickly to use it to our advantage.
Kenrick E. Cleveland – is the “Top Secret – Goto Guy” for persuasion training for over 27 years. Check out MaxPersuasion Tips and get serious persuasion tips every 2 weeks – increase your power to persuade and put money in your pocket. Lots of it! http://www.maxpersuasion.com/