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The Number 1 Thing Women Want More From Their Partners

“What would you like your spouse / partner to do more often?”
This question was asked of over 12,000 women from 22 countries in a 2009 survey conducted by the Boston Consulting Group.

The 10 choices, in no particular order, were:

1. Household chores
2. Earn more money
3. Save more money
4. Develop a better financial plan
5. Spend time at home
6. Care for the children
7. Listen
8. Arrange dates or other recreational activities
9. Care for pets
10. Other

Before you read further take a few seconds to consider what the outcome was. Ladies, what would you want more of from your partner? Guys, what do you think your partner would say?

The top 5 responses were as follows:

1. Arrange dates or other recreational activities
2. Household chores
3. Listen
4. Earn more money
5. Save more money

To summarize the study’s findings: If the average woman found a magic lamp, the majority would not ask their genie for more money or better financial planning. They would first ask their genie to get their guy to arrange more dates. Then they would ask for chores and attention.

This probably has as much to do with the general increase in female financial independence as anything else. But irrespective of the cause, the message is clear: Women are looking for relationship and connection oriented improvements from their partners ahead of financial improvements.

The crux of the survey results is undoubtedly the number 1 pick. Women want their partners to arrange more dates. The fact that the option was phrased as “arrange more dates” as opposed to “go on more dates” is also key. Ladies are not just looking for their guys to show up. They are also not interested in passive or distracted involvement. They want their guys involved in the planning and prep for their dates and they want focused quality time together.

We’ve all seen (or even been) those couples where the guy is looking away, while she glares at him annoyingly. To put it into perspective: If a guy shoots a quick 3-second glance at a pretty girl walking by while his partner is talking to him, it can undo 3 hours of dedicated focused attention. Now, there are those ladies who won’t be offended or upset by this. But they fall in the minority.

To guys reading this post: Test out this theory to see what the result is with your partner. For your next date, tell her that you’re taking care of plans for the night. Give her some guidance as to what she should wear and then tell her where she needs to be for the start of the date. (Even without the benefit of this survey, a general rule is that most women love it when their partner takes control in this kind of thoughtful and meaningful manner.)

Put a bit of thought into your plans for the night. Consider a walk in the park before dinner, or dancing after dinner. Maybe you can return to the place you met. Whatever you decide, it should be something different and meaningful. We expect that both you and her will be extremely happy with the results.

When you are at the date, stay focused throughout. If your spidey-senses start telling you that a glance-worthy hotty is in the area, double your focus on your partner.

To ladies reading this post: Forward the link to your partner.

Andrew Strackan is a relationship expert and leading writer for, where we help couples keep their relationships fun, passionate and exciting. To discover how you can turn any dinner date into a hot date, read this free report: Top 10 Hot Dinner Dates
Follow Andrew and other relationship experts at The Cuplinx Blog